It’s stupid o’clock at night (or early morning) and you’re wondering if your baby will ever go back to sleep. If they will ever sleep through the night. Your friends baby sleeps through the night, so why doesn’t yours?
It’s the myth we as mothers have been sold for many generations now. A ‘good’ baby sleeps well, sleeps through the night, doesn’t cry too much and is ‘easy’. In other words, ‘ a baby who doesn’t trouble their parents too much and fits right into the world with ease.’ But it is this ideal ‘good’ baby, that is driving some of us mums crazy or driving many to ‘sleep train’.
What if I told you that a baby isn’t able to ‘self soothe’ until they are 3 years old? There are exceptions to this, but those babies that can self soothe are born with this ability. It can not be taught. ‘Self Soothing’ before 3, is actually the baby’s nervous system entering the ‘freeze’ response out of ‘fight’, ‘flight’ or ‘freeze’.
What if I told you that both our brain and body and our baby’s brain and body are hardwired for co-regulation, particularly around sleeping?
What if I told you, that night wakings until 5 are normal? That babies are not meant to sleep through the night early on, because this level of deep sleep can actually increase the risk of SIDS. They are designed to wake frequently at an early age. If your baby does sleep through, AMAZING, but it isn’t a standard we should be striving for. Of course, so many mums are SO SO SO sleep deprived. I have been there, alot! But there are ways we can support both mum and bub through this time.
Just like you probably don’t have the same sleep needs and patterns as Mike down the street, your baby is the same. Babies have different sleep needs and it is working with your baby’s biology and individual needs, providing support around mum and utilising resources, that can help nurture both baby sleep and mum sleep.
Take it from a mum of two low sleep needs toddlers who spent many months constantly fighting her baby for every nap and sleep, timing naps, being tempted to let them scream it out, using noise machines, blocking out light, walks and drives. I know sleep is a hard road sometimes and it makes everything so much harder if you aren’t getting enough.
If you need extra support, feel free to reach out. I would love to hear from you. I offer sleep packages where we just focus on sleep. I would love to be that supporting guide that helps you not feel like the dark eyed zombie reaching for their third coffee in the morning, well at least not every day!
Have a super day!
Mikayla